Friday, May 26, 2006

What to do now??

Well, I'm home again, no more big city fun for me (for a little while anyway, I plan on moving up there sometime this summer, but we'll wait on that one). I don't really have all that much to say, I just got back yesterday and all that I've done is go out on a bike ride and fix up shit around the house. And I've really already talked about the only real interesting thing about my trip which was my visit to Isabelle. Oh well, I can tell you that I am really looking forward to getting back there, especially after getting a hold of Heather and finding out that she’s going to be up there for the summer as well. After spending a few days in the city, the life out here just isn’t the same, sure you appreciate it a bit more, but you realize all of the stuff that you’re missing at the same time. I'm not saying that the city's perfect, it’s far from that. But at this point in my life, it's almost exactly what I need.
For some reason, ever since I heard from Heather I haven’t been able to get her out of my head (she is the type of girl that'll do that to you). I figured out why and if you've read my life story than you may have spotted it as well. It's because I have some major unresolved issues around her, I mean that one night still remains my # 1 biggest single regret, and even though I now know that nothing can really happen between us I still kick myself every time I think of that night because I didn't try. Anyway the reason that she keeps popping into my head now is because I still want to go out with her, or at least have her in a friends-with-benefits relationship. The reason for this is because what I need is experience and seeing as I'm too much of a chicken-shit to try anything with just anyone, I need the confidence that can only be had by being with someone that I trust and know. I don't know if I'm expressing my reasoning all that well or not, but all that I'm going to say is that that's going to be my goal for the summer - to get the benefits from Heather's friendship. Either that or actually pluck up some courage and meet someone new and perhaps go out with them (gasp!! there's a novel idea). I don't know though but I'll keep you posted even though it maybe a while before I do anything.


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